Day 124/365 (November 18, 2014)

Such a freezing cold day! I went to work for a few hours then I went to the gym. I met up with Ally and she kept me company while I made a Pumpkin Cake Cheesecake. Then she left and Andrey came over, then Karen came home and eventually I tried to make Apple Cider Caramels. It went wrong first because I burned the syrup and then it went really wrong because I heated it too high. The recipe said 252* so even though I though that was wrong because it was well past the soft ball stage I went with it... yea it ended up being hard as a rock, and my heart was very sad. I also picked up my birthday gift from Sephora and finally figured out my game plan for my birthday after being so indecisive.

I also was having a bit of sadness concerning my birthday. Sometimes I wonder why I still love my birthday so much and if maybe I should try to change that because I put too much pressure on myself to have a good time and have it live up to what I want the day to be I stress out and can't decide and it makes me sad. I also have a fear that no one will remember my birthday. I also found out that no one was making me a cake or cupcake or anything and that made me a touch sad. I don't expect stuff to be crazy elaborate but it would be nice to have it done for me. I mean I made the cheesecake cake on a whim so I ended up knowing I would have that for the eating and I know how much effort everyone, especially Sasha and Karen, put into making my day special so I knew I would feel the love, but still a touch sad.