Day 252/365 (March 26, 2015)

Spent the morning at work, then I forced myself to the gym and then off to Trader Joe's. Luckily there weren't too many people so it went swiftly. Of course the cashier was not listening to me about how to pack the bag so I just gave up and redid it myself as soon as I got to the window area. I also found cookie butter cheesecake squares that I couldn't wait to try. I got home put stuff away, tried the yummy cheesecake, then went out to Schmackary's. I know i visited "the enemy" but I just wanted more sugar and didn't want to have to bake it myself. The cookies are okay in a pinch but just not worth it overall... My moment of weakness in that department is over.

Eventually I met up with Andrey for hot cocoa at Bibble and Sip. I do enjoy that place but it wasn't exactly the happy catch up time I was envisioning because he was glued to his phone the whole time and since I have been feeling pretty sad lately that was sort of like a pushing point for me. I got home and ate more cheesecake and had butterscotch pudding and then felt sick from all the sugar... I usually do not hit sugar overload but I did today.

Watched some TV with the roomies before getting ready for bed. I slept with my "my teddy" bear because I am an adult and that is what you have to do sometimes... but I also had a conversation with myself to try and pull myself into a better place mentally speaking. I just don't feel like I have very much self worth right now and need to get a handle and control of my life again.

Here are Fred and Charlie being cute like.

Day 251/365 (March 25, 2015)

On my way to work i saw this person in a tent rushing Finding Neverland... the second time i saw this set up... I am amazed on so many levels LOL!

The day overall was spent working and buying plane tickets to Florida to go to Disney's Food and Wine Festival! I also ate brownies for breakfast and had a call at work that lasted 90 minutes that ended just in tine for a 20 minute daily call... needless to say my throat hurt.

Then I headed home and made the fireball brownies for my best customer, then forced myself out to the gym/training. Training hurt man then I headed home and had more brownies and dinner and showered because I smelled... productive day!

Day 250/365 (March 24, 2015)

Long day at work and I am feeling overwhelmed by life in general. I can't seem to control my eating habits right now and I am sad... like just sad. Yes i get randomly happy at moments and things but my default right now is just sad and I don't like that.

When I got home i decided to make brownies. They ended up having Fireball in them and I ate way too many but they were ooey and good! I also went for a little walk to hit my step goal for the day... success!

Also as it turned out this week The Following had TWO episodes and I only knew about one.... I watched and became horrified when my guesstimation for Hunter Parrish's character was severely off... you should have heard my pained scream/cry as his character was gunned down... at least it was by Kevin Bacon's character and not The Pretty 2.0!

Charlie was loving sleeping in my full bag.

Day 249/365 (March 23, 2015)

Passed If/Then load out on way to work sadly. Worked for a better part of the day then thought it would be a good idea to walk the 4.5 miles to the Upper East Side Target. Which would have been fine except it was so windy but I did find some interesting things. First I stumbled upon the bakery Jamie and her friends were talking about, so I tried a bite of the incredible banana pudding and got this yummy cinnamon bun cupcake. The frosting was incredible, so light and fluffy. The cake however I could tell was really good but it was over cooked so it was a bit dry. I loved the container they put it in though! Then I found a Food Emporium under a bridge and it said that... so funny, and I stumbled upon the Gracie Mews and kept singing Today 4 U from Rent because of it. Target was successful, but carrying a 16 pound bag of cat food back with the other stuff was not fun, but I was proud of myself for doing it!

Then I got ready for bed pretty early because I was not really feeling in a sit on the couch type mood. SO I went to my room and hung with Fred and Charlie for a bit until we got a surprise visit from Marty. So we chatted for a bit which was nice then I went off to bed.

Day 248/365 (March 22, 2015)

The day started slowly then Karen I headed out to run some errands. This quickly got thwarted because it turns out we were watching Lola today... only no one told us, so when we fond out we scurried back and picked her up just in time! It was okay because we always love seeing her and when Ellyn opened the door up and Lola saw us she got so excited and came running to hug us... I mean really it doesn't get any better than that! Which is why I will always drop whatever for her.

Then we went to get her some lunch and after when heading home we skipped and she sang the song about how we were friends and loved to have fun. At home we played fashion show, and put a scarf on Fred and she did an art show and told Karen and I we couldn't speak but Karen kept trying to and getting us in trouble! Then we discussed her art (the 4 seasons).

After she went home Karen and I did a mild apartment tidy since it was so bad and we couldn't take it anymore.Charlie also likes to take our drying laundry off the rack and burrow under it.

Day 247/365 (March 21, 2015)

The day was crazy. I walked down to go to Trader Joe's but ended up waiting in line for the Big Brother Open Casting Call for season 17. Derrick (and Cody, and Frankie) were there. Derrick kept coming out and spending time with the crowd and he remembered me from the night before!

I made friends with the people in front of me (Sasha, Hiya, and Danielle, and also a girl named Kelsey). It was cold but we were determined. I had so much fun chatting with them. We spoke about random things and Big Brother things and I made a funny. Apparently in a town in FL it is illegal for more than 6 girls to live together because it is considered a brothel, so sororities can't have houses. So we were like what about more than 6 guys living together and I was like is that considered a BRO-thel? These people appreciated my humor haha! These other two guys also told a funny joke (if two vegetarians get into a fight does that mean they have beef or do they have to squash it?). I learned about a cinnamon toast crunch shot (RumChata and Fireball). When we finally got inside things went pretty quickly. They were definitely rushing us along to get done by 4, people inside earlier had to have have had WAY more time! We got put into a group of 7 and it ended up being the 4 of us and 3 other random people. They guy asked us a bunch of questions. He seemed to like the 4 of us but sadly none of us got a call back :( Anywho after it was over Sasha, Danielle, and myself went to a restaurant to eat and hang out some more. Such fun ladies. I know in things like this you don't usually end up seeing each other again... you are just friends for the day, but hopefully that isn't the case and we meet up again! Then I finally went to Trader Joe's! I also got to take a picture with my two favorite players from BB16 so that was neat! Derrick had us facetiming with the LA open call people at one point. (Seen above)

I got home and changed and got Karen to come with me to Jamie's Ladies night. Had some troubles getting there because of the MTA but it was nice to venture out somewhere. There was also lots of yummy sangria. Finally it was time to head home and crash!

Day 246/365 (March 20, 2015)

It was a crazy day but filled with much happiness and unfortunately snow! I headed intot he office to do a few quick things before Ted arrived with Dennis. Dennis had another day off from school so I said we could have a city day. We headed up to the Sony Wonder Lab, and spent some time there. They had some fun things like robots that danced and pretending to do heart surgery with a robot hand, and other things like video game (PlayStation, etc...) It is something we both wanted to check out but in my opinion although there were fun elements it was more geared towards younger kids than Dennis. SO it was fun but not OMG Let's go back, but it was fun spending quality time with him!

Then we were trying to figure out what to do next when he mentioned that he heard there was a place that had frozen hot chocolate so I decided that we would go to Serendipity 3 for lunch. It didn't open until 11:30 so we figured w would "kill some time" in nearby Dylan's Candy Bar. He was quite pleased with this idea and picked out candy for his sisters and himself. Then we went to wait in line for lunch. That is when it started to snow... we finally got inside and had a yummy lunch followed by the delicious frrrozen hot chocolate. He was a good sport since I kept making him take pictures with me! We passed by St. Patrick's Cathedral and he asked if we could go inside, so we did. Then he wanted to go back to the office and warm up while we figured out what to do next... which ended up being going to Grand Central to get frozen custard from Shake Shack. Then we came back to the office and just watched stuff on Netflix/Hulu because it was so cold and snowy until Ted was ready to head back home.

I said my goodbyes and headed off to the hotel where Derrick (and supposed to be Cody) from Big Brother said they would be hanging out. By the time I got there (which was not that late) Cody had sadly already left but Derrick was there! I was so happy to meet him and we chatted for a bit, such a nice guy! I also had the best Shirley Temple ever... yum!

Then i went home and lounged for a bit until I went out super late to see Travis' Boy Band Project perform (with him, Jesse, and Joey Khoury... and some other guy). Luckily I spotted Andy so I had someone to chat with for a little bit before they performed. It was a quick performance but they were so good and the crowd seemed to love them! Then I chatted for a bit and headed home

Day 245/365 (March 19, 2015)

When I left work I decided to take a long walk before going home so I walked up towards Central Park. As I was walking along on this cold and windy day I kept passing all the poor horses that are forced to do carriage rides.They were lined up with their people trying to get riders. As I passed them I felt so sad for them because they all had their heads down and had such sad looks in their eyes like all they wanted to do was to be out of the wind. I texted this to my roomies and Karen was apparently in a cranky mood and giving me a hard time for caring about animal rights. Then I ended up going into Williams-Sanoma since it is in Columbus Circle and bought a Tart Pan. I Came home and Charlie toppled me and Fred came over to say Hi.

Day 244/365 (March 18, 2015)

Today was an interesting day. I went to training earlier than usual and it was exhausting as always but i learned how perception is truly important. Travis was having me jump onto the medium sized box. I am always afraid when jumping onto the box. I constantly psych myself out and have a hard time, but I still try. After I was done and in the locker room preparing to go out into the cold another woman was in there and told me she saw me doing the box jumps and was so impressed with how great I was and that I looked so confidant and how she has a hard time doing them because she is so nervous. I was like oh no I am glad you thought I looked confidant but really I am petrified and only do them because Travis stands at the ready to help me if I start to fall. SO i was really shocked by her perception but glad I can look alright!

I came home and Charlie began his usual give me all the attention let me sit on you antics.

Day 243/365 (March 17, 2015)

I spent most of the day at work tortured by the never ending ST. Patrick's Day parade. Finally I made a break for it and headed down to Trader Joe's. I made my way home and began cooking my stuffed peppers and making a strawberry banana "ice Cream." While I was making the stuffed peppers Ben asked me if I wanted to see Finding Neverland so I figured why not?!?!

That sent me into overdrive because I had less than 75 minutes to finish making dinner, clean my mess, eat, and shower. I rocked it out thankfully.

Met up with him and at first we were in the back of the orchestra by the creative team. Between Diane P and the rude patrons around us it was really hard to concentrate on the show from all the noise. We asked to be moved during intermission and got brought up much closer to the front where it was much quieter and could hear the show. I wouldn't mind seeing it again after it has opened to see what changes were made but as it is right now I am not really into it. There are things happening that are pointless. The funniest line in the show is an inside joke about Kelsey Grammar and Cheers and not the actual story itself. They need to add a line about the fact that J.M. Barrie is Scottish because the story takes place in London Matthew's accent is Scottish while everyone else is British (save Kelsey's character who they establish as American) so it seems like Matthew is doing the wrong accent and it is embarrassing, but when I looked up the real life person I saw he was Scottish so that was okay but how many people are going to do that and it is unfair for people to think he is doing a bad job when he is actually doing a great job. They also had quite a few technical difficulties. We could tell things were supposed to be happening that weren't so I would like to see those. Finally there is one moment involving glitter and fans and a robe that is one of the most spectacular things I have ever seen on a stage. That alone won my heart over!

I also kept running into other people I knew which was always nice :)

Day 242/365 (March 16, 2015)

Got up early and got myself ready for a long day at work. I was there the entire day then headed home where i relaxed for a bit and ate dinner. Then I headed out to the concert I was filming... where Andrey startled the crap out of me when I arrived and my heart was racing for like 5 minutes after! Ewa also sent me a chocolate bunny in the mail :)

The concert (Say My Name) was pretty good but I had a snafu while filming. Of all the times for it to happen my camera which had a full battery decided to DIE in the middle of a song. It was during the one song being sung by the one person I knew so I felt bad in general but especially bad... what the frick happened? In my panic to see if switching batteries helped I missed his entire song, like I didn't even hear if because I was so caught up and managed to drop my phone down an abyss that took considerable effort to rescue it from. Marty came to see the show so that was nice to see him for a bit.

After it was over i decided to go for a walk so I could hit my step goal for the day.  I ended up running into someone I know so we walked together for a bit and caught up which was nice, then I decided to call Paula and talk about Friday. I ended up talking to her for 36 minutes and it was just so nice outside I didn't want to go back inside... and I knew I would be unhappy inside;

Sure enough I went in and was again ignored when i said hey. Then after settling my stuff down I went to wash dishes and she got up and went to her room. I am sick of crying over this. I finished watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and finally got ready for bed.

Earlier I had tried to mail some birthday cards and the box I usually use was locked! Charlie also was all about cuddling with me.

Day 241/365 (March 15, 2015)

I woke up and decided to not be a lazy bum all day. I took a walk down to the Public Theater to try my luck at the Hamilton lotto. I failed of course but got to see Lin-Manuel pull some of the names and met two really nice guys. I told them I would help them with the Wicked lotto later that night. Then I walked back home. Sasha was there and still completely ignoring me. I say hi to her and she ignores me, I say bye to her and she ignores me. I fought back tears on more than one occasion. I just don't get it. No matter how mad you are with someone (even if unfounded) giving them the silent treatment is just childish. Yet i keep saying hi and bye to her because I won't be rude like her and just ignore the fact I am around. I did however stay in my room because I could feel she didn't want me around her. I stayed until I went out to help the guys with the lotto. Sadly there was no lotto. Turns out this was the first week they went back to having one show Sundays. I did meet up with them though and they were thankful I tried! Then I cried my way home over the whole Sasha situation. I just went back to my room and stayed there watching stuff on Hulu all night except when I was making dinner.