Day 315/365 (June 29, 2009)

what are the odds of this fruit snack assortment? i opened up a little packet and did what i always do: eat the ones i dont like first. after eating only one grape and one orange i looked down to see what else to eat:and i was left with one pink and NINE reds! craziness! too bad there werent any peaches in there... of this brand they are my favorites! (and the only ones that actually taste like a fruit)

i cuddled with emma, played and snuggled a bit with tucker, picked up tucker pee, baked banana bread, had grilled pb and j sandwiches, had the fruit snacks, and watched lots of tv. i also chatted briefly with judith on gchat. i did a ton of dishes in between and was on a bit of an emotional roller coaster for myself. On one of the shows i watched today (The Closer) Barrett Foa ended up being on it (yay) and it resulted in my happiness at him being able to show a really emotional side of his acting and once again thinking he should be singing on some stage in NYC.

as far as my emotional state i was happy at some points which resulted in my cleaning out my scary inbox and stuff, but i was also unhappy in other ways that resulted in not good things (did you see what i ate today?) and thinking about things in general. i have always known i didnt want to physically live in NYC  for the rest of my life, but not that i have any idea where i would be willing to live. today (and yesterday too kind of) i wished i were some place else. i know i am a long ways away from leaving the city because i am not at a point in my life where i can just go someplace else. i am not ready to part with the friends i have close by, and dont feel like making new ones... so hopefully this feeling passes since i do not know what i want out of life any more... i am just sort of floating through with no aim or direction and that scares the crap out of me... i used to be so ambitious, and have so many plans, and now well i have nothing... i just cant deal with certain things anymore and am sick of keeping up appearances ya know? i need something but i just dont know what? there is so much going on in this head of mine that i just cant express... partly because i dont know how to and partly because i dont have anyone i am willing to unleash it all on... not because i dont trust but i just dont want to open that can of worms... though i am midly by this very public post, oy!

Day 314/365 (June 28, 2009)

what a slightly weird day! i met with michelle at the courtyard to hang out for a bit and to meet with travis to give him his birthday goodies... we felt kind of like a stalker sitting where we were but whatever, we had made arrangements to do so! anywho after a while michelle had to leave to see the show so i started to leave... i got about as far as starbucks and paused torn between if i should go home or stay and read. well after about a minute debate i saw mackenzie walking towards me! so anywho after he said he was going to the courtyard so i decided i was staying. it was nice chatting with him, but eventually he had to leave and i decided that i was going to stay and read... which i did for SEVERAL HOURS!!!! (which that was strange enough) anywho i finally decided i needed to leave because i was hungry and needed to use the bathroom and prefer my own... well what are the chances that i would run into mackenzie again as i was leaving? well i did and matthew this time too! so we walked to 42nd street and then parted ways. i came home and ate and chatted with krysta about our weekends. we watched some tv and that was the basics of the day!

Day 313/365 (June 27, 2009)

considering the time i had got home and went to bed i was surprised i was able to get up so early to help michelle with the hair lotto. luckily she won and was able to see it with mark. after lotto we got some yum at chipotle and then stayed there for a while... i hung out reading and almost (or maybe actually) falling asleep in the courtyard. then i met them at stage door and we headed down to pick up tim, and spent time at a street fair. i got this awesome pretty necklace that has a real four leaf clover inside of it! (so perfectly me).

then i went home and i dont remember the rest. oh yea i baked a bunch of cookies for travis for his birthday!

Day 312/365 (June 26, 2009)

i decorated the cupcakes i baked with sunshine and equality! anywho i dont remember what i did besides that during the day, but then i headed out and began craziness amidst random rain.

i helped chris with wicked lotto (we lost) then i traveled to three different pinkberrys to sample the free new flavors! then i needed real food so i got subway.

then i went to sasha and marty's and watched some pirates of the caribbean 2 and hung out until going to mostly sondheim. it was fun as always especially with marty and sasha there... marty sang willingly and then bribed sasha to sing. my cupcakes were a hit and some guy bought my table a round of drinks he was so grateful... lol! then home i went.

i dont know if this was the day or not (but i suspect it was) i went on a crazy cleaning spree of the floors, the bathroom, and my room... and did a bunch of dishes!

Day 311/365 (June 25, 2009)

well i ended up doing another overnight rush for next to normal... this time i slept a tiny bit more than last, mark ended up showing up and mary was able to get a ticket. after i got my tickets i went home and slept for a while. eventually i went and met krysta to drop off tucker and that was the last time for a while because he ripped my pants and almost pantsed me!

then i met up with mary and devon and sasha and marty. after some time there mary devon and i went and filmed some stuff for mary's demo reel for twicon with allison case.

then i went to next to normal and met up with jo ann there too! and finally shoshana. we had an excellent time at the show and meghann (natalie u/s) was FANTABULOUS! all of us hung out after the show for a bit at SD chatting with each other and what not and had a lovely chat with Kyle Dean. then mark and i headed back to my place and i baked cupcakes.

as we were leaving next to normal i stepped in some gravel and it got stuck to the bottom of my flip flops until i pried it off!

Day 310/365 (June 24, 2009)

it was a very long, but very much fun day! i woke up early to get ready to meet my cousins and walk Tucker. I left earlier than planned because paula had texted to say they were looking to get there earlier. i ended up getting there way earlier than i meant to and sat on a bench to read my book.  ya know i lived over there for a year and never did that!

anywho i et up with my cousins Paula, and her clan... and also my cousin Mo and her kids. 3 adults, 5 children... phew!

we hopped the boat to liberty island and then we waited in line forever to get in... by the time we got to the observation decks of the pedastool it was raining! not hard but enough that my pants got soaked and i was slipping in my flip flops! that gave me quite the bit of stress. but we had lots of fun and then i left to go home.

i got home and went straight to the tub to clean my now extremely dirty feet from all the yuck of the streets on NY and then i washed my jean bottoms in the sink since they soaked up all that yucky water! then i took a much needed respite to re-gather myself and get pack my overnight bag to head to sasha's so i could get some more sleep before heading to rush for next to normal.

i got there about 11 and met with marty and fred. i laid down to try and get some sleep and then i got a text saying there were already people in the next to normal rush line... i thought about it and then away i went... not so much sleep, but at least i was close by and got a quick hello in.

Day 309/365 (June 23, 2009)

oh the day... so anywho i only got three hours of sleep (ok not quite that much but rounding up) before i had to get up and go do the rush for next to normal. i headed out and met mark there and we waited until 10 to buy our tickets. it was not as much fun as last time since we didnt have a ton of other people we were being all chummy with, but it was nice having the company.

krysta brought tucker to the rush line before heading to work and he attacked her poor skirt/shirt pretty badly, but she was able to sew it up on the spot... and then he did it again! everyone seemed to love him (of course) then we went home... i took a nap! i woke up with really cold feet since i was hot when lying down and didnt get under the covers and by having a dream that flies were biting me and i was bleeding because of it. obviously flies werent actually biting me, but man oh man i was itchy for a little while after because of the dream!

i ended up with another nap at some point and some quality time with emma and tucker, then i brought tucker to meet krysta at josh's. i was quite pleased at myself for even remembering his apartment number on my own! then i stopped for a 99 cent slice of pizza before going to the theater. i met up again with mark, his friend jess (i think is her name), and diane.

the show was really quite good and i had lots of fun even if i am emotionally dead inside. we had a nice little chat with kyle dean after then we all went our separate ways. i got home and chatted with krysta for a bit and down loaded drew seeley's new version of her voice from the little mermaid.... it sounds quite awesome and pretty and i dig it as a stand alone song, but i cant wait to hear him sing the actual version of it in the show when i go to see it. that song is just so beautifully written!

i also have been really into reading my book Angel's Tip... so good!